Summary of Dragon Slaying by L. Michael Hall
Dragon Slaying is a book about handling big bad states known as Dragon States that can sabotage our effectiveness, health and happiness. We can learn to control these states rather than remain victims of them.
Check out Dragon Slaying: Dragons Into Princes at Amazon
We can manage states by
- Choosing what to represent and how we code these representations.
- What meanings we give our representations
- The words that we use and how we talk to ourselves (tone, volume)
- By our physiology - posture and breathing etc
- By noticing how we achieve resourceful and unresourceful states.
- Monitoring the intensity and variability of our states
Our states are determined not only what we think, but by the structure of our thinking, the kinds of representations and the way we represent things. Our consciousness interacts with the outside world and culture. We change and are changed by it. In response, we develop different sorting styles or Meta programs to organize and make sense of information and data.
Additionally, we can think about ourselves. This self-reflexivity can be a powerful ally or a tormentor. Our ability to map out a future can drive our behavior for better or worse.
For primary states (real threats out there), we can use anchoring to create links. Sensory-based representations mostly drive our primary states.
Meta States
Meta states are different. Things get so complex and layered we do not know what we feel. We can't manage states like self-esteem and confidence in the same way we deal with fear or anger.
Dragon States
A dragon state is a Meta state that involves using psychic energy against ourselves. They aren't feelings, so much as judgments or negative evaluations. They are self-sabotaging.
Here are some common "dragons"
- The cold calling dragon
- The fear of being imperfect dragon
- The do not deserve to accumulate wealth dragon.
- Feel like I am intruding dragon.
- Addiction to being loved dragon.
- Beating myself up dragon
- I have to be right dragon
- Control freak dragon
- Emotionally disconnected dragon
Dragon Slaying made easy
We can deal with dragon states by
- State or pattern interrupts. Sometimes the state is intense and loops around without an exit.
- Not feeding and reinforcing them
- Re languaging
- Can't have Meta states without symbols and language
- The Meta model is the best dragon slaying tool - words can create a neuro semantic reality inside our nervous system
- The more abstract and evaluative the words, the more opportunities for miscommunication
- Meta stating process to develop new strategies
- Learning to appreciate the informational value of emotion
- Fearing our anger doesn't make it go away, it just makes us blind to it.
- Trying on some new meanings, find out if there are any objections?
- Our meanings can restrict states we have access to i.e. forgiveness.
Self-contempt and self-esteem Dragon
Many of us indulge in disgust, discounting and disrespect under the delusion that it will make us a better person. Our self-concept represents many facets and is just a map.
Many of us believe that our worth is conditional, that we have to earn the right to give ourselves positive messages. Do we believe babies have no innate value? Yet we judge ourselves differently. We usually do not see others, only their obnoxious behaviors. We need to value ourselves apart from our actions.
Many of us confuse other esteem with self-esteem. We go through life seeking approval and validation. We can use our experiences with significant others to define ourselves
Self-confidence
Confidence on the other hand is conditional and relates to our abilities and skills. It is just as well I have no confidence in my ability to do brain surgery at this time...Next 
